Surviving Bella - Chapter 4 Teaser

It's 3:00am and I can't sleep, so I finished chapter 4 of Surviving Bella and sent it off to beta instead.

Here's a teaser for you! It ain't going to be pretty...

I rocked back and forth on my knees, heaving what little had been in my stomach into the sea. After a dozen retches I was only dry-heaving, which I always thought was worse than actual puking. It wouldn’t stop, and my stomach muscles were aching even more.

My hands were shaking so bad I was having a hard time just keeping myself perched on the edge of the raft, near the entrance without just tossing myself overboard. I could feel my heart beating so hard in my chest, I wouldn’t have been totally shocked to see it come bursting right out of my skin. Sweat began to pour down the back of my neck, which I just had to fucking stop because I was going to get dehydrated enough as it was.


I felt a soft hand touch the top of my shoulder, and I immediately pulled away from the sensation.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I screamed, not even knowing why. At the very least, I was already hyper sensitive all over. Even the feeling of my knees against the bottom of the raft was pissing me off. The last thing I needed was her hands on me, trying to give me some kind of fucking comfort.


Carlisle, Bella, and the Banana - The Contest!

Yeah, you read that right! Along with Sparking Citrus, I'm hosting a contest based on Hide and Drink Chapter 23, where Bella tells Edward about her safe sex talk with Carlisle. This is YOUR CHANCE to determine what really happened!

The prize? I write a one-shot based on whatever you want. That's right - anything! So write it up and send it in!

Contest Information:

Carlisle, Bella and the Banana

Don't Lynch the Savage!

[Spoiler Warning! If you haven't read Hide and Drink Chapter 28, you may not want to read this post yet.]

Yes, yes, yes - I'm a horrible, evil person for ever considering anything other than HEA for these two. But seriously, pitchforks, witch hunts and lynchings? LOL

I'll tell ya though, I live for getting a strong reaction out of readers. It doesn't have to be a "I love you - you are awesome" reaction, either. If you are hating me for what I'm doing (and leaving more reviews for this chapter in 12 hours than the previous chapter got in a week), then I've done my job as a writer. I made you feel strong emotions about fictional characters. I think lynching threats are pretty strong emotions. hehehe

As the chapter end notes stated, there are still a few chapters to go in H&D. There are too many things left unresolved to end where it is, so it must go on. I am not promising HEA. I'm also not saying there isn't going to be a HEA. That's part of the fun/excitement/draw of stories - you don't know how it will end.

Feel free to berate me and tell me how you feel about it, but please - don't lynch the Savage! :)



Weekend is Here!

Hide and Drink Chapter 28 posted on Twilighted! I highly suggest you read the Chapter End notes for Chapter 28. It talks about where H&D is now and where it is going from here (no spoilers or anything). Once you've read it, stop by and bitch at me... ;)

Hide and Drink has also been nominated for two awards:

The Shimmer awards for the "Blood Award" - Best Horror/Suspense. Voting begins Sunday, June 27th!


The Bring Me to Life Awards for the “Dimension Award” for Best AU (voting going on now! I’m not sure when it ends…).



Ooo...I gots Banner!

Thanks to BellaEdwardCullen on Twilighted, Surviving Bella has it's own banner now! I think it's just lovely. :) You can find it down the right hand side of the blog, with the Surviving Bella links.

A few people asked about DTs and what exactly that meant. DTs stands for Delirium Tremens, which is literally (from latin) "shaking delirium" or "trembling madness." It is the significant withdrawal symptoms experienced by some severe alcoholics when drying out. You can learn more about it on Wikipedia.

I'm working on Chapter four, and hope to have it out next week. As long as Germany and the US keep winning in the Cup games, I'll be happy and in the mood to write. :)


Mid-Week Sneak-Peek - H&D Chapter 28

With both the USA and Germany winning their World Cup games, I'm a happy Savage!

Hide and Drink Chapter 28 is off to beta, and should post on time this weekend. That means it's teaser time again! Enjoy!

I turned to Emmett next, and his eyes danced over me as he considered his options for physically restraining me. Jasper’s thoughts were of a similar mindset.

“You can’t lock me up forever,” I said, looking back and forth between them. “This is what I want to do.”

“You’re not in your right mind, son.” Carlisle rubbed his eyes with his fingers and dropped his elbows to his knees.

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.”

“Fucking Shakespeare,” Emmett snorted. “You’d make a good Hamlet.”

I didn’t look at him.

Do you understand what you are doing? To yourself? To all of us?

“Yes,” I whispered. “I know what it means, but staying is worse. I won’t be cured. There is nowhere else for me to be. They have the means to contain me and keep me from harming anyone.”

World Cup - USA and Germany

Good luck to the USA and Germany teams in their games today!!

I have to be at work, and don't know how much I will get to watch. Grr.


Surviving Bella - Chapter 3 Teaser

Here's a little clip from the next chapter of Surviving Bella, which should post by Wednesday:

“How much water are you supposed to drink?” Bella asked.

“A liter a day will keep you healthy,” I told her. “You can survive on a lot less.”

I looked over to her and took in her tiny little frame.

“You’re going to stick with a full liter as long as we can afford it.”


“You’re too small,” I said, shaking my head, but I felt the corner of my mouth turn up a little. “You’ll dehydrate a lot faster.”

“Is there enough?” she asked.

“For now, yes.”

“If it doesn’t rain again?”

“There are other options.”

She sat looking at her hands in her lap and biting down on her lip.

“You mean like…drinking urine, right?”

I tried to keep myself from laughing out loud, but a bit of a snicker escaped me.

“Only in movies, babe,” I said, shaking my head again. “Urine is about as salty as sea water, and a lot more gross.”

New Blog Look

Chonga created this fuckawesome banner at the top, so I changed the scheme a little to make the colors work together. I'm liking the general look, just wish I could figure out how to make the damn template center the banner at the top! Argh!!! Wherever that function is being hidden, it is being hidden well.

Drop a comment and let me know what you think of the changes!

Naughty Girl for the Day

I got to be the "Naughty Girl for the Day" on Jasper's Naughty Girls website today. I recommended Finding Bella by ekimmuh. You can find the article at the link below.

Jasper's Naughty Girls

I'm working on Chapter 28 of Hide and Drink tonight, since my dinner plans got can canceled. If only someone would also cancel the laundry I need to do...


Hide and Drink Update

For all those reading H&D who think because I have started Surviving Bella , that means I'm tried of the other story and won't finish it - RELAX! Hide and Drink is still my priority! I just tend to get things in my head and if I don't get them out, they are in the way of everything else I am doing. I also wanted to stretch myself as a writer and try writing without a set outline for once, just to see how it would work.

I've been working on H&D all morning and the completed outline for the remaining, extended version of the story is now done. I had a basic one before, but now I have the expanded version. I expect the final story to be 40 chapters in total, though that can always change. Lots of times I will expect certain things to all be in the same chapter and as I'm writing it, I find out it makes more sense to split it in two. But 40 is going to be pretty close. The ending is already written. ;)

Good luck to all the World Cup teams playing today!

Happy Father's Day!


Boobward's return

No sunburns today, but it' is just amazing how much energy gets sucked out of you when you just lay around in the heat for three hours. Or maybe it was the sheer number of people walking around in bikinis who really, really, shouldn't be wearing bikinis. *shudder*

Boobward shall be returning shortly, I'm sure. Poor betas have a rough job of getting through people's stuff. If you do it, kudos to you. I barely have the patience to edit my own shit, let alone someone else's. I promise there is more smut in this chapter to make up for the lack of smut in chapter 26.

So, do ya think Surviving Bella's Edward/Anthony is a little on the crass side? :)


Happy Effing Friday

I did not have a happy soccer day. I'm perfectly okay with it, albeit disappointed, if my team loses because they've been bested by another team. Having two games go bad because of poor refereeing is just...disheartening.

All right, enough about that.

Surviving Bella, Chapter two is up on FFN. Let me know what you think!

SB Chapter 2

Tomorrow, I work. Then I'm going to Kings Island to sit in the water park, watch the kids play, read and write. Hopefully, I won't get sunburned. :) Hopefully, I'll get something done on Hide and Drink Chapter 28. I haven't gotten very far on it yet. I'll be sitting out in the sun with a co-worker who is also reading it, so I have to try and write without her peeking over my shoulder. hehe.

Assuming I get Chapter 27 of H&D back from the beta tonight or tomorrow, it will go up on schedule.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Go Germany and USA in Games Today!

Germany Plays Serbia in about 45 minutes as I'm writing this. I got up early to watch!

USA Plays Slovenia at 10:00am my time (East Coast US). I'll be able to watch at least the first half of it. I scheduled training this afternoon instead of going into the office today, you see...aren't I clever? :)

Both H&D Chapter 27 and SB Chapter 2 are in the hands of beta readers! The weekend smut should arrive on time! :)

Good luck to my Serbian and Slovenian fans. Play well!

(Germany and USA are still going to win, though. ;) )


German Pedicures

I went out and got the German flag done on my toenails. Yeah I know, I 'm not right. I'm hoping that will be the extra push they need to have another win in the morning. :)

Hide and Drink Chapter 27 is off to beta, so it should be up this weekend sometime. I promise to stop watching ESPN long enough to post it.

So, how about a little teaser from the next chapter of Surviving Bella? It's nearly done as well.

The waves were a lot calmer than they had been the previous night, thankfully. I glanced back over at the girl, who was still out of it, and then whipped open my fly and pissed over the side. I managed to tuck myself back in just as she rolled a little and groaned. Not that I really cared, but she probably didn’t want to wake up to me waving my cock around. She only murmured something unintelligible and stilled, not yet awake.

I looked over the horizon and saw…water.

I maneuvered part way out of the small opening in the canopy and looked all the way around us.

More water.



Mid-Week Sneak-Peek - H&D Chapter 27

Hello Zealots! :) Happy hump day! In honor of hump day, here's a slightly smutty teaser from Hide and Drink, Chapter 27:

I felt Bella’s hands on my head, and smiled against her skin. I reached out with my tongue and licked the little dip of her navel, kissed it, and then started to move back to her breasts.

“Other way,” Bella said softly, delicious blood pooling in her cheeks. The hands on my head pushed down a bit.

I looked up to her, confused.

“I really liked that,” she said.

“Liked what?”

“When you…you know…”

I had no idea what she meant, and had a horrible sinking feeling that I was forgetting something important. I could feel myself beginning to panic, and I knew I had to make it stop. If it kept going – if it overwhelmed me – Bella would know. She would know I wasn’t any better.

“Tell me,” I demanded.

“I liked it when you used your mouth…down there.”

Oh God.


Boobward calls Bella a Bitch

Trying to write two chapters at once, for two different stories is....probably not the best idea. Maybe if both Edwards were the same type of character, but of course they are not. I was going back and forth between the two, first writing Drunkenwhoreward dialog and at then switching to writing Boobward making sweet love to Bella,. Then I accidentally wrote Boobward saying "Hey, bitch! Suck my cock!"

Just kidding. :)

Hide and Drink is in the "Top Ten" most reviewed stories on Twlighted now. YAY! That makes me happy. I never thought it would be so popular. It's been so much fun writing it, that's probably why I decided to expand it a bit. I should have chapters 27 and 28 out on the normal schedule, but there may be a bit of a lag in there before 29 comes out. I'll try to get a couple more chapters of Surviving Bella out during that time, too. Of course, all of this depends on the World Cup games and who is playing that week... :)

For all the Brazilian H&D fans - nice game today!

OK - I'm back to writing smut. I swear I won't really have sweet, crazy Boobward call Bella any unseemly names.


Balancing Stories

Surviving Bella seems to have had great response so far! I wasn't sure how people were going to react to drunken-whore-ward. I will definitely continue, but no set posting schedule will be set for this one. Like I said - H&D still gets top priority. Well...right after World Cup, anyway... :) Really - I hope to be able to balance them all out without too much trouble. I'll get a Surviving Bella page created at some point, I'm sure. In the meantime, feel free to post your questions here. I think someone mentioned starting a thread on Twilighted, as well.

I'm surprised I haven't had more comments on Edward not only fucking a hooker, but not giving a shit if she got her...ah...bonus. LOL

Now back to writing some good Boobward smut...he makes sure Bella always gets hers...


Surviving Bella - the ship has launched!

All right - I did it. I went with the name and posted the first chapter on FFN. Take a look and make sure you review, so I know what you think of it!


Spending time on a sailboat on the sea should be the time of your life! But when the ship sinks, Captain Edward and passenger Bella end up in a life raft together. Can they survive the elements and their colliding pasts?Nc-17/ M for mature themes/language. More detailed smut to come, I swear. ;)

Surviving Bella

Got Banner Skills? I don't. If anyone is interested in making a banner for Surviving Bella, please let me know!!

Choosing a Title

I'm totally insane when it comes to choosing the right word, especially when it comes to the name of a story or the chapter title. Sometimes a title just clicks right away (Hide and Drink was like that - it just fit), but other times it's not so easy.

I'm trying to choose a title for the E&B in a lifeboat story. The best one I have come up with so far is "Surviving Bella". I've got most of a first chapter done, and I'm trying to stick with my original idea of just posting things as I get to them and not being so methodical about the whole thing. I hate inconsistency, and I'm afraid I'll end up screwing something up in the long run. I need to get over that. :)

If I come up with a decent title and find a willing beta for the story, it may be posted on FFN sometime this week.

I read what there is of "The Education of Professor Cullen" this week. Very strong Bella sexually smacking around Dorkward and him trying not to love it, since she's one of his students. It's cute and smutty and there's a link over on the right, under my Top Three Twifics.

Germany plays Australia this afternoon! :)


Hide & Drink Chapter 26

The next chapter is now posted on Twilighted, and will go up on FFN tomorrow. Have at it! I'm off to watch Argentina vs. Nigeria...

Blog updates

The Inside Info page has been updated with more bits that never made it into a chapter. The Writing Projects page has also been updated.

I'm going to sit back and watch a lot of soccer today, but I have the netbook with me, so I'll write at the same time...well...depending on who is playing...

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!


H&D and the World Cup

OK - chapter 26 is off to beta, so I can watch a bunch of World Cup games this weekend. Yeah, I'm a soccer fan, which means my weekends will be filled with more World Cup than writing, I'm afraid. I'll still be writing, of course, but no guarantees on weekly updates between now and July 11th.

So, I have made a decision regarding how to continue Hide and Drink. I talked it over with the beta, and we mulled it over a bit. In the end, we agreed there just isn't enough material for something I would consider "book two". That means I'm going to go with continuing Hide and Drink under the same name. We're probably looking at a total of 40 chapters until the end., though I reserve the right to change that number - haha It just seemed to make more sense, and I'll explain a bit more of that once chapter 28 is posted (I don't want to spoil anything).

So, hang in there a little bit. I know the beta is still very busy. Be patient, and the next chapter will be out soon! Thanks!


Mid Week Sneak Peek - H&D Chapter 26

Happy belated Wednesday! :)

Hide and Drink was featured on the "Twific Pimps" pod cast. Listen to it here or download for free! :) I wasn't involved at all, but I really got kick out of listening to it. Warning - if you aren't up to date through chapter 24, there will be spoilers if you listen.

Pod Cast

Question for you all, since it seems to be a theme in Chapter 25 reviews. What would happen if Edward turned Bella at this point? Leave a comment with your theory! :)

And here's your teaser....

“I need to be with Bella.” I raised my head and looked into his red eyes.

Aro tilted his head to one side.

I know how you feel about her, Edward. I have been inside your mind and I know how deeply you care for her. It’s one of the reasons I want you to consider staying.

“What do you mean?”

You know, because the thoughts are your own. You promised not to hurt her again, and her pain is your salvation.

“I can’t hurt her.”

Even if you do not drink from her, you will harm her.

“She shouldn’t have to be with me,” I said quietly. “Not the way I am.”

You would be a burden to her.

Writing in the early hours of the morning

I woke up (well, the dog woke me up) about 5:00 this morning, and I had dialog between E and B going through my head, so I had to get up and write it down before I fell back to sleep and forgot it all together. Now that I have it on paper, I'm a little happier and would love to go back to bed. Of course, I have to be at work in an hour instead. Ah well.

Oh - I wrote a bit more smut, since I was up anyway. ;)

Teaser will be up later this evening - so watch for it!


Teaser delay...

I almost forgot it was Wednesday! Um...it is Wednesday, isn't it??

Chapter 26 is still too volatile, so no sneak peek just yet. Hopefully, I 'll have something ready for tomorrow.

Patience! :)

I'm a Happy Savage

My PC has been in the shop with a bad ram slot for the past three weeks, and it just came back today! Yay! Now I have to get everything I have done for the past near month from the netbook on to the desktop. Fun Fun. Now I can go back to my 21" inch screen (yes, size DEFINITELY matters!!) instead of the 10" screen on the little one.

I can't believe all the reviews the latest H&D chapter has received on Twilighted already. WOW. I'm glad no one hates me yet... It's also up on FFN now, if you prefer to read there.

H&D has also been nominated for the Shimmer Awards under the "Blood Award" - best horror/suspense. Thank you Raquelnjake from Twilighted for nominating it!


What's Wrong With Boobward?

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't read chapter 25 of Hide and Drink, you may want to do so before you continue on...

So, slowly taking the blood of his singer over a long period of time has caused a physical addiction in Edward. Once he stopped drinking, his mind began to fall apart. No big deal...all he has to do is start drinking her blood again. He'll be fine!

Um...do you hate me?

I believe the next chapter will be on time, as long as I get more sleep than I did last night...darn work... :) I've been working a little bit on the new lifeboat fic - if I can figure out what to call it, maybe I'll get the first bit of that posted in the next week as well. Got an idea for a name? Let me know!



Where do I get my inspirations? That is, where do I get my ideas for stories, parts of stories, etc.? A lot of different places, really. Some of it just seems to randomly float into my head. Sometimes I watch a situation unfold when I'm just people watching, and may use something from that. I do get inspired by music a lot, like many people. Usually I am inspired by a single line or phrase in a song, rather than the entire song itself. Here are a few songs that inspired parts of Hide and Drink.

Kathy's Song by Apoptygma Berserk

Dark Angel by VNV Nation

This one goes with the Desperation and Despair chapter with Edward on the beach.
Ohne Dich (Without You) by Rammstein
German and English lyrics

Warning - this song makes me cry, and I don't cry at much of anything.
Moments of Tranquility by Apoptygma Berserk

That's all I got for now. Working on Chapter 26 while Chapter 25 is in Beta (yes, still backlogged). Hang in there!


Sunday Writing

I do most of my writing on Sundays. I don't know why, it just seems to be the least busy day for the household. Today I updated the "Writing Projects" page with what I am working on now. I also opened up comments on that page, so feel free to leave some. I talked a little about what I am doing with H&D right now, so I won't repeat all of that here.

I added a time line (up through posted chapters - I'll add 25 after it goes up) for H&D on the Hide and Drink Page, for those who wonder what the date is during different chapters.

Beta is backlogged, so please be patient! The next chapter will be up before too long. :)


Writing in a field...

I sat on a soccer field all day today (my son's team was in tournament) with my netbook in my lap. I started writing the EPOV o/s about E&B on a lifeboat. I think it's going to be interesting. I'll probably still have the next H&D chapter out first, but this one's coming fairly quickly, so we'll see what ends up being ready first. I don't have a title for it though, so I'll have to figure that out first, of course!

I also read the first few chapters of Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003, which is very intriguing. I think I'm the only person in Twifanfic society who hasn't read it before, but I'm still enjoying it. Just don't give me any spoilers! ;) I hate that. I have a hard enough time posting teasers, which I would never read myself. Spoils the surprise. I won't even watch trailers to movies I really want to see.

I hope everyone out there is enjoying their weekend!


Next Hide and Drink Chapter to Beta!

Chapter 25 - Burn and Churn - is now off to the beta reader! I found this one a little difficult to write, so I hope it ends up being okay and makes sense to everyone. Sometimes I get a little nervous thinking I made something too complicated, but hopefully that is not the case! At least you know Sponge Bob will be making an appearance! :)

Now I just need to wait for the Beta reader to finish up and send it back to me before I post it in Twilighted. A lot of people ask why I post on Twilighted first and then FanFiction.net later. I was quite disheartened when FanFiction.net began censoring material from other authors. Though I haven't been approached on this, nor has anyone I know personally, I don't care for it. Posting on FanFiction.net the day after is my (mostly) silent protest against their censorship policies.

Hang in just a bit longer - the new chapter will be up as soon as I get it back!

Thank you!


H&D and Beta readers

Hide and Drink chapter 25 "Burn and Churn" is pretty much done. Usually I go through and write the bits of a chapter where I know exactly how things are going to be, then write the filler in between the "main" parts that advance the plot. That's how you get your spontaneous extra sex scene, you see. ;) I've got all the main parts and the filler, I just have to go over 3-4 times to do my own editing before I send it off to my beta reader, who fixes all my punctuation and tells me I've used the same adjective three times in a paragraph and such.

Good beta readers are a GODSEND. If you have one or two, cherish them and lavish them with gifts (beer, wine and chocolate are good choices), or at least a lot of words of thanks and praise. They deserve it.

In general, I am on schedule with the update and you should get a new chapter this weekend. Thanks for continuing to read/support Hide and Drink!


Mid-Week Sneak-Peek - H&D Chapter 25

Okay - this is the first of many "Mid-Week Sneak Peeks." Every Wednesday, I'll post up something from an upcoming chapter of whatever the heck I'm working on at the time. There's no telling what it might be, so make sure you check back every Wednesday! This one also falls into the "I crack myself up" category. Like I said - you just might notice that trend around here. I might not be amusing anyone else, but I slay me!

Hide and Drink - Chapter 25

“Sweetheart, what in the world are you wearing?”

I looked down at the yellow character on the lounge pants I wore.

“It’s a cartoon,” I said.

“I know who Sponge Bob is!” Bella laughed.

“I didn’t know the name of it,” I admitted. “Why is it called Sponge Bob?”

“He’s a sponge!” Bella laughed again. “His name is Sponge Bob Square Pants, and he’s lives in a pineapple under the sea!”

“A sponge?” I questioned. “You mean a sea sponge?”

“Yes, of course.”

“In a pineapple?”


“Pineapples don’t grow in the ocean or near coral reefs,” I told her.

“Of course not,” Bella smiled and bit down on her lip, apparently trying to hold in laughter. “Sponge Bob lives inside of a hollowed out one on the bottom of the ocean.”

“Pineapples would decompose fairly quickly in salt water,” I informed her.

Isn't he just adorkable? If all goes well, Chapter 25 should be out this weekend.

Naughty Girl for a Day

So I've agreed to be a "Naughty Girl for a Day" (I know what you are thinking - just the one day? as if), on Jasper's Naughty Girls website. This is the site that hosted the "Best Dom Ever" contest where Want No More won the voter's pick award.

So, what's the Naughty Girl of the Day do? Review dark/dom fics or talk about dark/dom fiction. So I'm hoping you guys can give me a hand and recommend a few for me to check out and review. If you have any suggestions (especially lesser known works) let me know!

This is to happen on June 21st, so whatever you can think of before then, let me know! Thanks for your help!



H&D Sequel - clarification

FYI - There will be a continuance to the story. Not just because people want it but because I already have a bunch of it in my head. My real question is, continue as H&D, or a book 2, with another name? Sorry for any confusion! I never write anything without a plan in mind... ;) Actually, I probably plan too far ahead. That's likely part of the problem! Maybe I should have posted the intended ending before asking the question!

Hide and Drink - book 2 or just keep going?

So I announced that Hide and Drink was coming to a close (just 2-3 chapters away), and that there would be a book two. Now I'm wondering - why bother ending the one? Does it need a "book two," or should I just keep going under the same story name?

My reason for ending Hide and Drink is because it's coming to the point where I originally intended it end. My reason for book two is you, the fans of the story, wanting more. That being the case, maybe I should just let it keep going as the same story. It will be a continuation of the plot, so why bother creating a whole second book?

Anyway - I'm torn and can't decide. Let me know what you think in a comment! I need a good Domward to tell me what I should do next. ;)