Lots of Changes Coming

This is long and drawn out, so apologies up front.  You don't have to read it, but you might want to.

I get extremely nervous when I'm about to do something I have never done before.  The first time I posted a chapter up to Twilighted (and then later FFN) I was a nervous wreck - couldn't hardly push the button.  I don't care for change much, and certain things are more difficult to alter than others.  Of course, now posting to either place is second nature.  Otherwise Alone was basically ready for six months before I actually put it up on Amazon, but I think the next one will be a lot easier.

Obviously changing jobs, deciding to have a child, getting married, getting divorced - all of those are huge life change things, and we expect to be nervous about them - with good reason.  I don't mean that kind of stuff, but I don't mean changing the sheets, either.

So, I'm about to do something I haven't done before.  I'm going to pull two stories from FFN to publish them.  I know some people are not going to like this - they have their reasons and they're entitled to their opinions.  Ultimately, I have to do what feels right for me.  Is it right?  Is it a mistake?  I don't know.  I won't know until I do it.

I guess that's what makes me nervous.

One story is probably obvious - Surviving Bella has always been my personal favorite.  I've already rewritten it, and Surviving Raine is in the editing phases now, working on the cover art and all that.  It will be the next thing out.  So many people have asked about the sequel...well, like Otherwise Alone, it's going to depend on how it is received.  I have always planned on doing on, and would definitely like to do it, and I think I've had enough distance from those characters that I'm about ready to start writing them again.  Otherwise Alone was well received, and a sequel is coming, so I have hopes for Surviving Raine as well.

The other is maybe not so obvious - Transcendence.  Part of the reason is because the damn thing is so full of typos it drives me nuts.  I also think if I rewrote it there is a lot of potential, but it's going to take some work.  Yeah - like I need another project.  Ehd was also a lot of fun to play with, I must admit.  It will be much more of a rewrite, though Surviving Raine does have a few marked differences from Surviving Bella.

I don't plan on removing any others right now, so don't panic or anything.   Hell, it took me two years to decide to remove SB.  I still plan on finishing Caged, Not What She Seems, and I have another quick fic in mind for when those are done.  I want to keep writing fanfic - I love doing it.  I love playing in SM's world.  Heck, maybe I'll write some more Star Wars stuff while I'm at it!

I hope no one is too upset with this decision.  I wanted to tell everyone first because I consider those who read my blog (via the blog itself, Facebook or Twitter) to be the most supportive of what I do, and I appreciate that.  For the most part, I'm just going to quietly remove them without any fanfare on March 1st.  I did shut off FFN PMs for a variety of reasons (mostly I just can't keep up), but I'll have a new avenue to contact me on a new website soon anyway.  I know I'll get a lot of inquiries and opinions when they're removed, and I'll take those as they come.

I've got a lot of change coming in the form of Otherwise Alone sequels, other new characters and stories, a new website, etc.  This is just a part of it.  It all makes me nervous, but I also know it's time to take a step into the deep end.

Hope you'll be there with me - I might need a life preserver!

Fingers crossed, feet together...jump!

Aasimar it is!

I have to admit, I'm somewhat surprised by the outcome.  I was sure you'd all go for the gladiators of the lost guy in trouble.  The last one I expected was the one about a creature most people have never heard of before.  I've been thinking about this one for a long time, so it will be good to get it down on (virtual) paper.  I guess I will have to start working on this one after Otherwise Occupied is done!  

Now, artwork for such a story isn't going to be easy.  I've done a little searching, but there just aren't many pics of Aasimars out there.  I found the one below, which is PERFECT, but of course I have no idea who owns the rights to it.  

Any artists out there?  LOL!

Thanks a lot for voting!  If your pick didn't get chosen, no worries.  This is more about what priority the story gets, not whether or not it gets written.  I'll do them all eventually. :)

Tuesday Teaser - Caged Chapter 31!

What do you get when I use my vibrator batteries in the wireless keyboard?  A teaser like this!  It's probably a bit much for this early morning (my time, anyway), but think of it as an early morning pick me up.

Put your coffee down before you read!

Husbands/boyfriends/significant others on standby!

***

I slipped into her, pushing gently with my hips as my hand slowly and softly cupped first one breast, and then the other.  Her nipples were super-sensitive, and she sucked in air as soon as I came into contact with them.

Inside of her felt softer as well.  What had once felt like being gripped by a silk glove now felt like a warm, deep pile of silk instead.  It was like everything inside of her was getting ready to give our baby a more comfortable journey to the outside, which was exactly what was happening.  Again, not better or worse, just not the same.

In fact, it felt fucking fantastic.

Emphasis on fucking.

Bella moved back against me as much as she could, but it was getting more difficult for her.  The doctor told us we could have sex pretty much right up until it was time to give birth, and that it was actually a good idea.  Good idea or not, I was just trying to get all caught up before the baby came so I could survive six weeks without being inside of my wife.

She felt so good.

My fingers reached around her stomach and found their way down to her clit.  I circled slowly – matching the rhythm of my thrusts into her.  Bella moaned and tried to hold her leg up and out of the way so I could reach better, but she wasn’t having a lot of luck, so I reached under her thigh and brought her leg up for her.

“Touch yourself,” I told her.  “I want to feel you come all over me.”

Bella moaned something incomprehensible back, but didn’t move.

“Touch yourself!” I commanded a little louder.  “You need to scream my name!”

Her hand moved down, and I leaned up a little so I could watch her fingers.

“So fucking hot,” I mumbled.  “I love watching that…seeing you do that to yourself with my cock inside of you…God you’re hot.  That’s it – harder and faster.  Let me feel you.”

***

Oh...um...what?  Excuse me a minute...

Caged will be back on Friday at 10pm Eastern time!  See you then!

Happy Friday Everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful and preferably smutty Valentines Day!  I'm still out of town doing the business travel thing, but heading home this evening.  For a variety of reasons, there won't be a Caged update tonight, but I hope to get myself caught up on that and all kinds of other stuff over the weekend.

I do want to thank everyone again for the thoughts, prayers, and encouragement with my mother in law's illness.  She continues to get just a little bit better every day, and will be kicked out of the hospital and into the nursing home for additional recovery.  :)  The pulmonary fibrosis is ultimately incurable, but she seems to be out of the woods for the moment.  I really appreciate all the support from everyone while we've been trying to get her and dad in law through all this.

Hopefully next week I'll be back into the grove of everything!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Three Summaries

And the voters have spoken!  Here are summaries of three stories I have played around with in my head.  There are bits and pieces written for each of them, but I'm not sure which one I should attempt next.  Vote to the right, and tell me which one sounds the most intriguing to you!

The titles are working titles - no telling if that will be the final title or not.  They are in no particular order.  Let me know what you think!

Aasimar

On top of the barrier between worlds he stands in ever-present vigil, keeping watch over our side of Hillcliff, the wall that separates the land of humans from the creatures of the night.  His strength is beyond human, his power incomprehensible.  Without him, the creatures beyond Hillcliff would descend upon the city and destroy us all.

But even an Aasimar can’t live forever.  Eventually, another must take his place.

I have been chosen – chosen to mother the child of our next protector.  Though I have never laid eyes on him before, our wrists are bound together in matrimony, and he leads me to the turret on the wall – the place that will be my home until it can be proven that I am with child.

We don’t even speak the same language.

Strangely enough, there are those within the city who do not want the wall to be protected.  Some have sided with the darkness beyond, and who will stop at nothing to make sure my child is never born.  To kill one of his kind was nearly impossible, but to destroy me and my unborn child was an easy task.

How can he defend the wall and me at the same time?

The Gladiator’s Slave

Since the death of my father in the arena, I had been alone in the Ludus Dacicus.  I spent every day preparing to kill or die in the great Colosseum of Rome.  Every night, I prayed to the gods to give me a reason beyond the blood.  

As the Champion Gladiator, I was favored by both the common and the elite.

As a slave, my life was not my own.  

As a man, I thought I only wanted one thing besides victory – a woman untouched by another man.  

She would belong to me alone, and no other man – gladiator or Roman – would be allowed to touch her.  She would wait for me in my bed at night after every victory in the arena.  She would be beautiful, and warm, and above all else – she would be mine.

Though bought with my own coin, she owned me from the moment we first lay together.

Truffles and Treason

Each and every one of the culinary delights is perfectly formed – perfectly shaped.  I follow my own, precisely constructed recipe to the letter.  When I’m finished, I eat only one.  The rest are carefully packaged and placed in the break room at work where people wonder who crafted such delicious desserts.

Part of me wants to tell them I made them, but I don’t do well with social interactions.

Trapped in my own mind, I stay in the shadows and away from the contact of other people.  I sit in my cubicle, I do my job as a database administrator for a large government contract, and I don’t make waves.  I come to work and I do as I am told, even when what they tell me to do doesn’t seem quite right.  They are the authority figures of the company, and I do what they say.

People came to my door in the middle of the night with FBI printed on the back of their Kevlar vests, and they put guns to my head.  Something I did at work wasn’t right.  Something I did got people killed.  I was only doing what they told me to do, so how can I be on trial for treason?

How does a man who can barely speak defend himself?

Your Choice!

I'm just too far behind in writing the next Caged chapter to provide a teaser today.  I'm hoping to get caught up, but I'll be traveling for work Wednesday through Friday, and you just never know what kind of writing time I'll have.  Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less.

Regardless, I wanted to give you a little something today anyway!  So, if you look off to your right, you should see a little poll on top of the small version of my logo.

Option One - Otherwise Occupied Teaser.  A little snippet from the next book in the Evan Arden series.  (Yeah- Series!)  This will not be the the same teaser you might have seen if you are in my Facebook group (18+ only, see below for link if you have Facebook and want to join).

Option Two - I'll post up three summaries from stories I'm considering writing next (after Otherwise Occupied).  These will all be original fiction stories.  No, I'm not going to stop writing fanfiction, I've just already chosen the next E&B story for after Caged and Not What She Seems are complete.

So, voting is open until 5:00pm this evening, Eastern Standard Time (GMT-5 or something like that).  I'll post something up before 9:00pm.

Facebook group

Rough Night

Hello everyone, and thank you all for the thoughts and prayers.  I'm going to babble here for a minute, because (as you may guess) writing is kind of cathartic for me, and I need to get some thoughts out.

My mother in law went into the hospital earlier this week.  We were told last night she only had a few hours left, but then around 10pm she went from barely breathing to opening her eyes, eating, and talking to everyone.  I'm not sure what that means - she's very weak and ultimately incurable (she has pneumonia on top of advanced pulmonary fibrosis, and is not a lung transplant candidate).  If they can get the pneumonia under control with antibiotics and such...well, who knows?

I know a lot of people complain about their mother in law, but I'm not one of them.  She's always been a sweet and kind woman, accepting of me from the moment she met me, and is the backbone of my husband's family.  She's always been so strong, and I don't like seeing her as she is right now.  I could see it in her eyes last night that she didn't like all those people there fussing at her.

I'm the only one awake at the moment, and just wanted to thank everyone for being patient and understanding, and for sending out the positive energy.  You never know if it helps or not for sure, but it definitely never hurts!  I really appreciate it all.  Caged will probably update at some time this weekend, but it just depends what all happens today.

Now someone please explain to me why - on a farm with a chicken barn full of 20K chickens - there are no eggs in this house...

Tuesday Teaser - Caged Chapter 30

Can you believe this has hit 30 chapters?  Do you realize that means you've been reading this for more than half a year? That's either dedication or insanity - I'm not sure which.

Sad teaser warning...

Feel free to wait until Friday when you can get it all at once...

***

The social worker crossed herself before walking away, and Bella walked up to stand before the open part of the casket.  A silent tear fell down her cheek as she reached out and touched Crazy Alice’s cheek.  She sniffed a little and walked away, leaving me alone.

I took a handful of half-shuffled steps until I was in the spot right in front of her.  I looked down at my feet and wondered if they had to replace the carpet in this spot more often than in other places.  How many people had stood here like this, saying goodbye?

My eyes found her face, and my first reaction was that she just didn’t look like herself at all.  She had a bunch of makeup on, which she never wore, and someone had combed her hair down so it lay flat on her face.  I glanced over my shoulder and saw Bella and the social worker talking to the priest.  No one was watching me.

I reach in and tousled her hair all over her head so it looked right.

“That’s better,” I muttered, kind of feeling like an idiot.  I looked around again quickly, but everyone was still engaged in whatever they were talking about, so I turned back to Crazy Alice’s body.

My skin felt all cold and tingly as I stared down at her – unable to look away but hating the sight at the same time.  It was just so…so wrong looking.  She wasn’t supposed to just die like that.  Crazy Alice was a constant.  She was always there – always in the same place doing the same crazy, fucked-up shit.  She belonged on that fire escape stacking cigarette butts and yelling asinine prophecies at people.

It’s how the world was supposed to be.

“You crazy bitch,” I whispered.  “Why’d you go and do this?”

***

There's been a bit more craziness in my life, but if all stays sane I should be able to get the chapter done and posted on Friday.  I can't make any promises right at the moment - real life is poised to strike.  I'll keep y'all posted with additional...well...posts!

My Poor, Abused Keyboard

It's Sunday, which often means household projects around here.  I was just cleaning my keyboard and trying to remember how long I've had it.  I think it's been 2-3 years, but I can't remember exactly.  A while, but not ridiculously long, ya know?  Anyway, there are seven keys where I have actually worn off part of the letter (all of the letter A, actually).  I'm thinking it's entirely possible I type a lot.

The keyboard - now thoroughly cleaned - looks very nice now, despite missing letters.  Those that don't touch-type probably wouldn't want to use it. 

Of course, the concern here would be that the keyboard would actually have to be replaced sometime, which is frightening.  I'm not fond of change anyway, and to have a whole different keyboard would not make me a happy camper.  

Is there a saint for computer peripherals?